self-worth
by pkimmey32
Summary: Emma suffers from keeping who she really is from... well everyone, she sees a therapist for that and starts to work on her self worth as well
1. first step

"Emma swan" the blond doctor called.

Yeah, that's me, Emma Swan, age 30 and here to see a psychologist for something I should have figured out ages ago, but I didn't, I'm just oblivious swan, I wonder if anyone ever gave me that nickname? I am really oblivious but then again I probably never paid attention to myself, always trying to please other's and fit into who they want me to be, never mind, I guess thats why I'm here.

Emma stood up and nervously started walking to the doctor who she know see on the name tag is doctor Kathryn Nolan.

I wonder if she had to have first and last name, on grey's they went by last name but then again that's a show and they are surgeons, well actors who plays surgeons….

"Hi, I'm Emma" Emma greeted nervously once she reached the doctor.

Kathryn just smiles reassuringly, " hi, I'm doctor Kathryn Nolan but you could call me Kathryn" she said holding her hand out to be shaked.

Emma reached her hand out and grabbed on to Kathryn's to shake, she is still nervous but feels a bit better know that that's out of the way.

"Now I know you are nervous and it's understandable" Kathryn starts as she starts walking to her office with Emma following, " and I want you to know that you are not the only one who feels the way you do, now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I know how you feel but I do deal with these things and there is no judgement here and I want you to feel safe here to express yourself" Kathryn said, she never really give speeches like this but she felt Emma needed it.

"Thank you"Emma said as they entered the office.

"No problem, you can set anywhere, just get comfortable, it's easier to talk when your comfortable" the doctor said.

Emma stood there looking around and found a purple chair that looks comfortable and big enough to lift her feet under her thighs like she always sets, in the corner so she went over there and put her hand on the back of it then gave the doctor a questionable look which the doctor nodded with a smile, Emma smiled back and dragged the chair closer to Kathryn.

They sat in silence for a while after they were seated and Kathryn told her to begin when she is ready.

"Soooo, um, I don't think I'm a boy or a boy in a girls body, I know I am and was supposed to be a girl but…." Emma took a deep breath, "I feel like I should have been born with a penis" she said in a rush.

Kathryn nods and gives her a proud smile, "that's good, great, you just took a big step in admitting this, how does it feel now that you have?"

"Really good and also scared" Emma admitted.

Kathryn leaned forward to regard Emma, "and what are you scared of?"

Emma sighed and adjusted herself on the chair, she can't believe she is talking about this, she hasn't said anything to anyone since she was little and that was a mistake.

"I don't know why I needed to talk to anyone, I'm just some crazy girl who doesn't fit in any group or stereotype, I'm just a big messed up crazy person who thinks she should of had a penis, some reject from a reject sperm," Emma ranted while fiddling with her fingers and looking to the floor.

Emma never had anyone to talk to, she moved around a lot and never had anyone who cared enough to listen to her and she lived with people that just thought all here feelings didn't matter so she kept things bottled up until she had someone's full attention apparently.

Kathryn took on a serious face, "Emma, there is No one in this world that fits in a box and if you see that then it's a lie, their are judgemental, selfish, hurtful scrums in this world and it seems you might have grown up with some but let me tell you, you are not crazy, messed up or a reject, you have a right to feel how you feel, you have the right to feel comfortable in your own skin and Emma you have the right to be love and that starts with you loving yourself" Kathryn said staring Emma in her teary eyes.

Emma nodded, she can't speak right now do to the lump in her throat, she reach twitch her sleeve covered hand and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Before you go today I want to give you a list of things I want you to practice, don't worry, this is a process so I'm not gonna overwhelm you with a huge list, you think you would be up to it?Kathryn asked, wanting it to be Emma's decision.

Emma nodded, "I can try" she answered in a horse voice.

Kathryn beamed at her, "great, I'll get you that list.

Yup, broke down at my first appointment, also yes I feel like I should have a penis and if you didn't catch on, yes I am a foster child or I was until I aged out, the list, well it's foreign to me, love myself, yeah that might be a lot of work.

The list

1)Pick out stuff about you that is interesting or the best part of you and focus on that

2)Look in the mirror telling yourself your beautiful and strong

3)Buy some man briefs and wear them often and if you are comfortable get a strap on to wear for a day.

Hmm interesting, I don't know how to feel about this, someone is actually taking what I say seriously.

Emma is sitting on her couch with the list in her hand thinking about her next move, suddenly she gets up, grabbed her coat and keys and out the door she goes heading to a clothing store, she made her choice to follow the list.

To be continued…...


	2. ch 2

Now Emma is standing in the men's section at a clothing store looking at the briefs dumbfounded.

So now I am here not knowing what size to get or which briefs are comfortable, I am embarrassed to even be in this section, here's the thing, when I was younger and caught in any type of men's clothes….. Let's just say I never tried again.

So now I'm here looking for briefs, men briefs at that to fulfill the list I was giving, ok so yeah I'm also excited, it's another step forward, my heart is in my throat right now…

"Hey, can I help you" a girl with long black hair with red streaks in her hair asked scaring Emma out of her thoughts.

Emma spun around and looked at the girl, heart pounding and not finding her words.

So I'm frozen, what the hell am I going to do, she is going to think I'm weird or a freak…

"This should do it for killian" a woman with short dark hair and tanned skin said handing Emma a package, and Emma still dumbfounded just grabbed it and held it to her chest in a tight grip, "Thank you miss, I think we got what we need," she said and the girl with red streaks smiled and walked away, the other woman turned to Emma and smiled genuinely.

"I'm sorry, it's just you seemed to be struggling and I wanted to help, my name is Regina" she said holding out her hand to be shaken.

Emma shakes her head coming out of her stupor, she looked at Regina with her mouth still slightly parted, she outstretched her hand to shake the offered one and cleared her throat.

"Uh, I'm...im Emma, Emma Swan, thank you for saving me back there," Emma said not knowing what else to say.

So that just happened, I froze then I was handed a package of men briefs by a woman I don't know, a hot woman at that, a hot woman who seemed to read me, good Lord I'm bound to have a heart attack at the end of this day.

"No problem, I know a lot of people are embarrassed to buy underwear, do you want me to go with you to pay for it?"she asked.

Is she in Angel? This woman……

"N no, I'm ok, I might have to brave this one," Emma said, she feels her cheeks redden and hope it's not noticeable.

"Ok, good luck, hope to see you around," Regina said, winked then walked away.

"Thank you Regina" Emma hollered behind Regina.

Regina looked over her shoulder and smiled a toothy smile," sure thing," she said then walked away further without anymore interruptions.

Wearing boxer's is quite comfortable actually, I had came home took a shower then opened the package of the briefs, surprisingly they fit perfectly, Regina must have known it was for me, I don't know how to feel about that, I guess I'm a bit relieved there was no judgment, now I'm in front of a mirror with a white tank top and a blue brief on staring at myself smiling.

Hmm good things about myself:

1)Ok I have good skin.

2)I'm at a healthy weight.

3)hmm, I have good hair.

That's all I have for now but I guess that's a start so I repeat those 3 things at least 5 times then the rest of the time admiring the man briefs, I'm imagining what it would be like to have a penis inside them.

I still have a lump in my throat, it's good though, it's a good emotion, ok so I might be a baby in this whole process but at least I'm facing it now.

Emma woke up the next morning feeling a bit freer, she knows she has a long way to go but this is a great start, waking up in her briefs brought a smile to her face.

Maybe I should buy a strap on after all….

Emma gets up and dressed, she left her still clean briefs on and put on a loose fitting jeans and green t-shirt over her tank, she decided she is going to the new diner she herd about from her co workers.

She grabbed her jacket, shoved it on, grabbed her keys then left for breakfast.

This diner is a nice place though I this is the first small town I lived in and don't know about other small town diners, I'm gonna still say this could be the best, I wonder if the food is just as good? Guess I have to see..

Emma went to a more secluded booth because though No one can see pass her jeans she is still conscious of the brief under them.

Calm down swan, this is a part of you, accept it.

Emma took a deep calming breath and sat down in the booth and reached for the menu as a waitress came over.

"Hi I'm Ashley, I well be for server today, can I get you something to drink?" She asked politely.

"I'm sure, do you have lemon tea" Emma asked.

"Sure do, do you want sweet or unsweeten?" She asked.

"Sweet, thank you" Emma said with a polite smile then Ashley was off to get her her drink, Emma looked at the menu again when the bell above the diner door wrong signaling a new arrival and Emma heard the cutest little voice.

"Momma, someone sittin in ares boot" the little brown hair boy said said pointing to where Emma is sitting, Emma looked up and gasped a little.

Right in front of her is someone familiar, someone she thought she'd only see once, someone who she thought she'd never see again, the same person who is smiling at her know.

"May we sit with you Emma?"

To be continued…...


	3. ch 3

E:Yes, Regina is standing in front of me with the cutest little boy ever grinning at me like we've known each other for more than a day asking if they can sit with me, I am bound to have that heart attack, seriously this woman….

"Umm, yeah sure" Emma said gesturing to the seats in front of her.

Regina helped her son in the booth then slid in herself, "Thank you and I'm sorry about Henry, ever since this place opened we came her every morning besides Sunday and adopted this booth" Regina explained with an apologetic smile.

"Oh it's ok and I'm sorry, I can move if you'd like…." Emma said about to get up but felt a hand on her forearm to halt her, she looked up to Regina to see her head shaking.

"No, please sit, we don't mind, do we Henry?" She questioned her son as she looked his way and he shakes his head.

"Nope, you pwetty" he said pointing at Emma with a big smile making his momma blush a little.

She cleared her throat and looked back at Emma as Emma settled back down with her own blush "see, the little man has spoken" Regina said with another smile.

E:And now I'm having breakfast with her, would I be able to eat with a lump this size?? Who am I kidding, I'm a bottomless pit…

"Thank you, nice to meet you, Henry and thank you for thinking I'm pretty, how old are you" Emma asked.

E:This could be good, I'm better talking with kids than adults, why? Because adults make me nervous, especially ones as beautiful as this kids mother, yeah, better keep that to myself…

"I tis miny" he said holding up 2 and a half fingers trying to hold the third one up.

Emma fakes gasp, "Oh my, your a big boy, aren't you?" Emma asked and he nods enthusiastically.

" yup, I big" he said then giggled.

E:Ok know what, I'm literally rolling my eyes at myself mentally, am I really that bad in talking to people?

"Anyway, I want to also apologize if I seem creepy, or act like I've known you forever…."

E:Wait, can she read minds, no probably not because I never thought she was creepy.

"...but you remind me of someone I knew and I guess I'm more sentimental than I thought," Regina said as she laughed at herself shaking her head a little.

E:Awe Sweet!!!

"No no, your good, it's actually a good thing because I really don't have friends.. Well except friends from work but that's about it.." Emma said than trailed off not knowing what else to say.

E:I don't know why I said all that, she must think I'm pathetic or something, I swear I have I case of diarrhea from the mouth syndrome, I wonder if that's a thing.

Just then the waitress came over to take their drink order and when they are done Regina looks at her, "they must be busy today, they never take this long to get to you," Regina commented.

Emma shrugged because she doesn't know, they talked and ate the rest of the time there, of course Regina had to pick topics though it seemed that it wasn't hard for her, she good at talking though she isn't one of those people who talk to much that it gets annoying, which is just fine with Emma, of course Henry would get their attention on whatever he deems good enough or cool enough at the moment and would go to color on the color paper he got from the waitress, it's was the best morning Emma had in well…ever

E:I'm now at home in front of the mirror the same way I was last night thinking about breakfast time I had with Regina, I still didn't get her last name though I never asked, I also didn't ask for her number so I may never see her again unless I keep going to that diner, I didn't even asked about Henry's father, I don't know if she is married, divorced, engaged or even has a boyfriend or girlfriend, why didn't I look at her finger? Because I'm weird, awkward, stupid…

E:Oh no my thoughts are going down hill, ok focus, good skin, good hair, weight, good skin, good hair, good weight..

Emma repeated those three things and tried forcing the negativity out.

E:Hmm, maybe I should buy a strap on.. But I don't want to go to the sex store, god I don't want them judging me, I'll go on wish, that simple, I'll just talk to Kathryn about my reasons.

It's been a week since Emma's last appointment with Kathryn and today is the next one, she hasn't seen Regina yet though she also hadn't went to the diner, afraid of seeming like a stalker.

E:Yeah, a lesbian stalker who was an orphan and who thinks she should have been born with a penis, who is also seeing a therapist because I want to actually feel comfortable with it and eventually get the surgery.

E:Yeah who is gonna want me as a girlfriend? Talk to Kathryn Emma, calm down.

"God I'm crazy for my mind telling itself to calm down.." Emma whispered to herself rolling her eyes at herself sitting in the waiting area.

"Emma Swan," Kathryn called, Emma stood up then walked towards her," are you ready" Kathryn asked with a warm smile.

"Yeah" Emma breathed out as she followed Kathryn to her office.

When they got there Emma's chair is right in front of Kathryn's.

E:My chair!!! Yes, one day and that is already my chair, I like Kathryn, she is awesome!

Emma smiled, "Thank you," she said as she sat down with her feet under her butt and Kathryn also sat down in her own chair.

"No problem, ok so before we get started I want an update on your homework list," Kathryn said.

"Well I bought some briefs and I put them on, I stand in the mirror to look at myself with them on and I have three positive things I say in my head at that time, " Emma said shyly.

Kathryn smiled encouragingly, " that's good, I want you to try to voice those things out loud this week, how are you feeling from this last week to before?" Kathryn asked.

"Well I feel a bit better…. Um I met someone, I mean someone who could be a friend but I didn't get her number, I know where she gets breakfasts but I don't want to seem stalkeresh…." Emma admitted with a red face.

E:I don't know why I told her this, maybe because it's good to tell your therapist everything that's going on?? Oh well it's out.

Kathryn smiled reassuringly, "that's great though you don't have to feel that way, that's how we make friends, we take steps to talk to them, we take steps to make these friends, I encourage you to go to that place again and if she is there, then ask to join her, get her number, if she turns you down then it's her lost, just don't let the fear to keep you from trying," Kathryn said sincerely," did you buy a strapon?" She asked like She is talking about the weather.

E:She really just said strapon out loud, my god this is embarrassing...

Emma blushed at hearing those words out load and so boldly.

"Ummm, I order one online, it should be in soon, umm I didn't want to go to the ss…" Emma cleared her throat," sex store, I didn't want to be judged," Emma finished shyly fiddling with her fingers.

"That's alright I understand, last week I asked you something that you didn't answer and I want to ask it again, do you remember what it was?" Kathryn asked.

E:Of course I do, I've been dreading being asked that again, it's a part of my past I don't want to dwell in...ugh.

Emma took a deep breath," umm, yeah, you asked why I was afraid after saying that I I ffeel," Emma took a deep breath and mentally rolled her eyes at herself for stuttering.

E:Get it together.

"You asked why I was afraid after saying I feel like I should have been born with a penis," Emma said embarrassed.

Kathryn nodded encouragingly, " yes, and I know it's hard to talk about and I don't want to push you, I want to tell you though once you talk about it, you would be able to heal from it," she said with an apologetic smile.

E: Of course she is right, I'm going to have to heal from this so I can start to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Emma took a deep breath, "I know, your right, well I was an orphan and in and out of foster homes, when I was little in a foster home I remember telling the mom in that home that I should have the boy parts that other boys have, I knew I was a girl but I wanted to pee like a boy, she looked at me like I was some kind of monster or something, she told me that I'm a girl and I should never say stuff like that again that it's an abomination, of course at the time I didn't know what that meant, but the look on her face scared me so I never said anything like that again,"

"When I got a bit older I had dreams that I had a penis and I'd wake up smile until I woke up more and wondered what was wrong with me, I kept these things to myself, I was already being bullied for being different, I couldn't add to that…" Emma had tears in her eyes as she finished, she was so lost in memory she didn't realize she was crying until she tasted her tears as it got in her mouth.

"Oh Emma, you don't ever have to feel that way again, you are not an abomination, you are who you are and you deserve to be that person you know you are and you deserved to me loved, let people in to do just that, because you are loveable, nothing is wrong with you, you hear me? Nothing is wrong with you, you are a woman who should of had a penis and would have one at some point because that is who you are and you are a beautiful person, don't let others tell you otherwise," Kathryn said passionately.

Emma just nods with tears still pouring down her face, she can't speak right now because of the lump in her throat.

E: God those lumps...is this going to happen every time I come in here?

To be continued……..


	4. ch 4

E: After my tearfilled time with Kathryn, I felt drained, god why do I have to go through this, because you want to be comfortable in my own skin, duh.

"Ok I'm answering myself in my own head again" Emma said in a low voice shaking her head at herself.

E: I went to get some ice cream, soda and pizza, my comfort food, it's like Kathryn tells me the same thing but at the same time it feels like it's my first time hearing it.

Emma got home with her hot and ready pizza in one hand, a bag with the ice cream on her wrist and a 12 pack of cream soda in her other hand, though she had to set that on the floor by the door so she could unlock and open it, when she does, she picked the soda up, walked inside then kicked her door shut before setting all the items on the counter.

She went to pick a movie, a comedy because that's what she needs right now, sat a blanket up, grabbed the pizza and soda, sat them on the couch cushion, wrapped the blanket around herself, sat down, pushed play and started on the comfort food.

During the third movie, four pieces of pizza, two soda's and a bowl of ice cream later, Emma fell asleep.

Two days later and Emma still hasn't gone back to the diner, though she has a reason for that.

She is waiting on her package that has actually came that morning, she wants to have the strap on on when she meets Regina again, not because she plans on getting intimate with her nor is she even planning to tell Regina about her feelings on who she is or about the strap on, she wants to feel a bit more herself, who she really is while meeting her again.

Emma decided to wear the strap on, her briefs and go out to public today before going to the diner tomorrow morning.

She decided to go to the mall, what better place to test her emotions then a mall??

E: I am in front of the mirror staring at my penis, my hot pink penis, why that color? Well because it is my favorite color of course, I'm staring at my hot pink penis that I have strapped to me, ok so I don't know what to feel right now.

E: I am amazed, overwhelmed and other emotions I can't name right now, I can actually imagine a real penis their, ok, time to get the show on the road and stop getting so emotional.

Emma started getting dressed, she had went out the other day to buys some baggy jeans, so she dressed in jeans, white tank and a Jean jacket.

E: Ok so I'm here, at the mall standing outside feeling exposed, can they see through my pants?

Emma looks down to the spot that the penis is.

E: Nope, it's not showing, ok Emma, take a deep breath, hold your head up high and put one foot in front of the other, breath in, breath out and here we go.

Emma took deep breaths and walked in, at first she glanced around to see if anyone is looking at her, their not so she held her head up high and walked further in, she just went to different departments and window shopped, she might of actually got a few things like earrings and her vanilla and cinnamon perfume.

Emma is in a book store when she bumped in to someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going" Emma said looking up to find the girl who asked to help her in the man's section.

E: Oh no, I think my face is completely red, that's the girl I froze in front of and now she is grinning at me like we are best friends.

"Oh, she does talk" she said teasingly.

"Um uh, huh?" Emma said confused.

The girl snorted, "when I asked if you need help, you stared at me like I stole your boyfriend...or girlfriend" the girl teased with a wink.

"Oh um uhh.. Sor sorry?" Emma said feeling out of sorts.

"Oh you have nothing to apologize for, I understand, name's Ruby, should have told you that last week, that was my second day on the job so.. sorry for not being professional" Ruby said with a shrug, she then grinned at Emma again.

"Oh, um, it's ok, I was caught off guard" Emma shrugged with a soft smile of her own.

"Sooo?" Ruby said looking on expectantly.

"Um, what?" Emma asked confused.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe your name" Ruby laughed.

"Oh" realization dawned on her, "Emma, Emma Swan" she said stretching her hand out to shake.

Ruby still grinning shook her hand, "nice to meet you, so hey, my girlfriend and I are new in town and looking for couples to hang out with, you should give me your number so us four could hang out sometime" Ruby said confusing Emma again.

"The four of us?" Emma asked with a scrunched up face.

"Yeah, me, Bell, you and that hot chick that you where with at the store" Ruby said in a duh tone.

"Oh, umm, well…." Emma was cut off.

"No need to be shy, here put your number in my phone" Ruby said handing Emma her phone.

Dumbfounded Emma just did what she was told and handed the phone back without a word.

"Thanks, can't wait to hang out, I have to go, see ya," Ruby said in a rush as she walked hastily away leaving a dumbfounded Emma behind.

E: What. The. Hell. Just happened? I bumped into a girl who I embarrassed myself in front of a week ago, gave my number, and I also have a girlfriend? No, I don't have a girlfriend, but for some reason I didn't correct Ruby about it, oh good grief.

It's the next morning and Emma is dressed in black baggy Jean that is covering her blue briefs which is also covering her penis,yes, she is wearing her penis.

She has on a blue button up shirt and her black leather jacket to complete her outfit.

She grabbed her phone, keys and her beanie, she left her apartment, got in her bug and drove to the diner.

E: Deep breaths, in, out, head up, this is who you are.

Emma walked in the diner, like she did yesterday at the mall, she glanced around to see if anyone is looking, there is, but not like she was afraid of, the people looking at her just glanced that way to see who walked in, then? That's it, they looked away and mind their own business, all accept one, the one who is still looking at her, the one who is smiling big at her.

Emma walked to that same booth that she sat in last week.

"Hey, so I was given some advice to take steps towards friendship, so can I sit with you guys" Emma asked Regina timidly.

E: seriously, I had to start with that, oh my god I'm screwed, she is going to think I'm an idiot now, an idiot with no friends, well I am an idiot with no friends but I didn't want her to think less of me because of it….

"Of course you can, that is some great advice you got there" Regina said warmly still with that smile.

"Hi Eemma, you pwetty totay, you sit wit me" Henry said excitedly.

"Thank you, I didn't mean to sound pathetic just then" Emma said apologetically as she sat next to Henry.

"None sence, in fact I was beginning to wonder if we would see you again" Regina admitted.

"Oh, yeah, we never exchanged phone number or anything and I didn't want to seem like a stalker" Emma admitted with a blush.

"Well I'm glad you are here now and I'm glad you not a stalker" Regina teased with a wink and got a little smile out of Emma.

"Me too, I gad you not a tokker too Eemma" Henry said getting the attention on him.

With that they both laughed at his adorableness.

To be continued………...

the spelling gets better, I do apologize for it,

all mistakes are mine...


	5. ch 5

"Oh, umm, I was wondering who Killian is" Emma asked randomly.

E: great, you dummy, couldn't be any smoother? I wonder why she even let me sit with her.

Regina looked confused for a few seconds then it dawned on her, she laughed, " oh, he is my brother" she said still smiling," all this time you wondered who that name belonged to?" She asked in amusement.

E: Now this is the time she politely gets up and dismiss herself and her son because I'm such a dummy…..orrrr maybe not.

"Umm, kinda, yeah, I'm just kind of a curious person I guess" Emma said looking down.

"Hey" Regina said as she gently put her hand on top of Emma's, "no it's good to be curious, it ok, really, I was just teasing," Regina gave her a reassuring smile when Emma looked up.

E: Beautiful smile, I have to get it together, I want her to want to be around me more.

Emma smiled back enjoying the warmth of the hand that is on hers, at that moment she noticed movement beside her and she looks to notice small hands on top of Regina's hand, she smile bigger than before, then they started laughing at the cuteness while Henry laughed because they were laughing.

After a while, when they settled in a comfortable silence, Emma started to squirm in her seat.

E: Damn Kathryn…

"Are you alright?" Regina asked concerned.

Emma looked up with bug eyes. "Ye-yeah, yeah, I'm fine" Emma said trying to smile reassuringly but failed.

"Are you sure? You look like your in pain,"

"No, I'm fine, cramps," Emma lied with a shrug, Regina looks like she isn't convinced but she lets it go.

E: what else was I gonna say? 'Oh sorry, I'm chafing from the strap on i'm wearing because I feel closer to who I am with it'…. Oh my god I'm wearing a strap on while sitting next to a kid..

"Emma!"

E: Am I perverted?

"Emma!"

E:God what kind of person am I?

"Miss Swan"

Emma's head shot up to meet Regina's concerned eyes," are you sure your alright?"

"Ye-yeah, umm I have to go to the bathroom" Emma said while hastily getting up and rushing to the bathroom pulling her phone out.

As soon as she entered the bathroom she looked to see if anyone was there, it's clear so she went into the biggest stool and dialed Kathryn's number.

"Hello" Kathryn answered.

"Am I a pervert?" Emma blurted out on the verge of a panic attack or so it seems.

"Emma? Ok first calm down, take a deep breath with me and let it out slowly" Kathryn said then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, Emma followed, "ok, that's good, now tell me what's going on" Kathryn demanded kindly.

"Ok so you know that thing you suggested I do along with wearing men's briefs?" Emma asked.

Kathryn had to think a bit then it dawned on her, " Yes, the strap on…" Kathryn said waiting on Emma's point.

"Well, I'm wearing now…. In public" Emma said pausing to see what Kathryn says.

Kathryn nodded along and when Emma paused she realized Emma's waiting on her, "ok, this is what we talked about doing eventually…"she trails off waiting for Emma to continue.

"Yeah well I am having breakfast with Regina and her 3 year old son, I was sitting next to him while I'm wearing something very adult.." Emma said with a teary voice.

"Ok, I get where your head is at now, do you wear a bra under your shirt?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes" Emma answered confused.

"Do you wear panties under your pants?"

"Yes"

"Do are you wearing the strap on for sexual reasons?"

"NO, you know that"

"I do, what do you think would be inside your pants if you were born with a penis? What do you think you'll have when you go through surgery?" Kathryn asked not expecting an answer, she understands Emma, being in foster care herself, she understands all the insecurities and on top of the normal foster kid insecurities, you have the being different then the other foster kids piled on you as well.

Emma thought about what Kathryn said and relaxed, she is right, Emma feels tears pricked in her eyes because Kathryn said "WHEN" instead of "IF" on her having a surgery, Kathryn believes in her.

"Tha-thank you Kathryn" is all Emma could think to say with a rough, cracked voice while her mind is reeling with emotions.

"No need to thank me, I'm happy to help, now go back out there and make a friend out of this woman and herson," Kathryn said encouragingly.

"Ok, bye, see you friday"

"See you then, bye" Kathryn replied before hanging up.

Emma puts her phone in her pocket and took a deep breath before walking out of the stall to come face to face with Regina, concerned eyes, folded arms and ankle leaning her bottom on the sink.

E: Shit, shit, shit, how long was she there.

Regina unfolded her arms and ankle and pushed herself off of the sink and walked towards Emma, "hey, are you ok?"

Emma smiled a little, "yeah, I am now, um how much did you hear?" She asked looking down.

Regin used you index and middle finger to pull Emma's head back up so to look at her, "to be honest I hear a few no's and a thank Kathryn and a bye and something about meeting on friday" Regina answered and Emma sagged relieved.

"I'm sorry for freaking out and possibly ruining breakfast"Emma said ashamed.

"Hey, no you didn't ruin anything, we well go back out there and relieve Ashley from Henry and finest breakfast together, but before that I want to say that I like you, that friend I told you about that you remind me of, I wasn't there for him and that was the biggest mistake I've ever made, I want to be here for you, I know we just met but I feel like we could be really good friends, so when you are ready, I'm here to listen, before we leave well exchanged numbers, is that good with you?" Regina asked, looking at Emma expectantly.

All Emma could do is nod with all the emotions swirling inside her.

E: Seriously though, what is up with everyone caring about me lately, I wonder if its the town, or its in the water, I wonder what happened with this friend of Reginas, I want to ask but when she talked about him there was I said look in her eyes..

"Good, let enjoy the rest of our breakfast, come on" Regina said grabbing Emma's wrist and dragging her to the table to relieve Ashley and enjoy each other's company.

All thoughts of the forming rash and thoughts of her being a pervert long gone and in its place is the feeling of being cared for and accepted.

E: Maybe Regina would accept me once I tell her, maybe she already knows, she seems very perceptive, either way I'm gonna get to know her better before I drop the P bomb.

To be continued………..


End file.
